Kate's Golden Shoes

These sparkle shoes are my daughters Golden Birthday shoes. She has been saving them for her 27th birthday on December 27, 2011. She informed me of this event awhile back and has been planning her outfit for this special day. We have dinner reservations at one of our city's finest restaurants and she will be the guest of honor. She entered our lives 5 weeks early on a snowy day. She has been my special Angel and friend ever since. She is the definition of grace and beauty. She is a joy to all she meets. God has His hand on her path and she brings Him smiles and laughter daily. May these shoes carry her far on her dance of life!        

Tapestry

I believe God places experiences and people in our path to bring out our gifts, strengths, and uniqueness.  It can be painful like childbirth. It can be as subtle as a flower's bud blooming. The end result amazes me. One day, years later, you look around and see why it all happened as it did. You lay out the old wrinkled map of you life's journey and see things differently... almost for the first time. The patterns work. The puzzle pieces fit. The paint is no longer muddled, but now iridescent. You just know you had nothing to do with this synergistic state. This path has taken you to this moment of contentment and joyful purpose and the Angels just smile.

Yes, I can Hula!

I'm learning to do the Hula. Yes, me. I've always said that one day  "I WILL LEARN TO HULA!" Now is the time, the year, the month, and the day. As stated in a previous blog note, I have been fascinated with the iconic persona of the Hula Girl since I was young. My family room and garden room have been decorated with a tasteful "Island" look for sometime now. I have a collection of vintage Hula Girl postcards framed along with other Island art that I wouldn't trade for anything.  I have never been to Hawaii or have any relatives that are Hawaiian. I do not even have an innate talent to dance. The rhythm that is involved, in the Hula, looks so foreign to me.  My daughter is a natural at any kind of dance. She emotes the beat and flows like swaying palm trees. She didn't get it from me though. So why am I pushing forward into this awkward endeavor?  Maybe it's because the clock is ticking on my bucket list. Maybe I just don't care anymore what anyone thinks about an over the hill "crazy" woman expressing her self via an ancient Polynesian form of story telling. Maybe I'll firm and tone some things that have gone South without me. Maybe when I am laid to rest my tombstone will say "She could do the HULA!" Maybe I will somehow appreciate what every Hula Girl knows in her heart:  That life is a dance and we should enjoy it while we are here.

Heeding My Own Advice

As a Nurse I give out alot of instructions and advice to patients and their families.  I've been doing it for so long, it rings like a memorized script in my head. I love the teaching aspect of my job and I take it seriously. I like sharing what I have learned through my education, my colleagues, and daily experience. The experience aspect of Nursing is what gives us that "gut instinct" that we rely on in our decision making... hopefully. It can't be taught in a class room or bought online. That "instinct" filters in to my advice to the patient. I rely on it like an old friend. I learn to trust it, even when something may overtly seem otherwise. I have come to rely on my instinct so much over the years, that one could say that it's almost to a fault. I think we older Nurses get stuck in our ways and hold on to that "instinct" which has carried us through the trenches. We are slow to listen to new ideas and the voice of the less "experienced" Nurse, shutting him/her out before they can even try to contribute. We"Eat Our Young"as the saying goes.  I recently had a lesson in listening to others advice when I became very ill. I had to trust others medical instructions.  I was not in control anymore. I became very frustrated, as the diagnosis was missed for some time and involved one Urgent Care visit and two ER visits before things were figured out.  My "gut instinct" failed even me, as I tried to self diagnose. Imagine that!  If there was a silver lining to my illness, I learned that I need to slow down and listen. I don't have to always be in control and in charge of every moment. Through this time of convalescence I have had to rely on others advice and instinct. I have let time march on without me filling each second with purpose. It is possible that my purpose driven,"Type A"demeanor got my resistance down in the first place causing this physical setback. I hope I have learned a lesson and will be more flexible and enjoy the moment.

The Vintage Brocante @ etsy.com

       My love of vintage garden items has blossomed into a new store on etsy.com called TheVintage Brocante.  (https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheVintageBrocante)  As Galway Kinnell so eloquently put it:  "Sometimes...it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness."  I hope to give a new life to old things, bringing a little whimsey to all things garden.

My New Gloves

These are my new garden gloves. They are magical!  Not only are they my favorite color but they have polka dots!   A woman who is comfortable in orange polka dots can do any thing! 

Life Surfing...

So. Cal.

Travel light and travel simple in your mind, through your world. I think that leaving spaces for things that you haven't planned is the real secret of life. You shouldn't lock yourself in too tightly. Always leave room for life to lock you into it, like being locked into a wave when you surf. Learn to live outside of yourself, without planning where the wave will take you. Above all, you have to  leave room  in life to dream. Buffy Sainte Marie

Please, Just Do What You Want!

I noticed this clever signage posted in my husbands hospital room a few days ago. He had just had knee surgery and was confined to his Orthopedic bed that was state of the art. The bed intermittently massaged his entire body, raised up/down, raised the head/feet, and could summon help when needed. This all worked via the push of a button. The same device could control the TV as well.  When I started my career as a Nurse, I had to do all those things for the bed ridden patient... including the massage part, which was called "Back Massage 101" Things have definitely improved for the patient and the caregivers.  However, some things have not improved, no matter how many instructions and signs you give the patient they still do exactly what they want ... even if it poses a risk to the patient and more work for the medical staff.  The sign at the top seems obvious to most people after surgery, sedation, low blood pressure, low sugar, lack of sleep, etc. After all, the sign is in clear view and in red with big letters!  No, the patient (my husband included) must read it like the sign at the bottom, which says "You can do it yourself, Go for it!" or "Free brownies served by Victoria Secret Models in the next room!"  Patients do not listen to signs or instructions on more occasions than you would think. They still get up and fall, drive while under the influence of drugs, rip off their bandages prematurely, soak their surgical site in water before they should and eat pizza loaded with grease on the way home after anesthesia. As Nurses, we just shake our head and hope the occurrence doesn't involve a lengthy incident report to fill out.  It would only take up our time. The same time that we could be spending instructing the next patient to not do the same idiotic things!

I Love His Hands

 This is round two for my husbands knee joint replacement.  I miss his beautiful hands. I think his hands deserve new grips on his golf clubs!

Mea Culpa

"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and wrong... because sometime in your life you will have been all of these."

Nurses really hate this!

I love technology. I use my fair share to make life easier and enjoyable. I can text, surf, stumble, upload, download, photo edit, stream etc. My children are amazing teachers and have the patience of a Jedi working with their old Padawan. They want me to be engaged in the world we live in. They feel it is important, and so do I. However  technology can be a double edged sword such as  when using it while driving and walking. One not so obvious, is when Nurses and Doctors really have some important things to VERBALLY tell you. Too many times to count, I have seen people barely look up when the Doctor tries to update a family member about their loved one's status after surgery.  I have forcibly pulled ear plugs out of peoples ears and shut laptops on fingers just to get their attention!  The startled dumbfounded look people give you is priceless. I think spouses are the worst. They act like they are listening to the Doctor and nod at your discharge instructions, as they type away on Facebook. However, they want it all repeated as soon as it is time to leave. They even want the Doctor to stop what he is doing (surgery) and come back to tell them everything again. I am not making this up! I get a little blunt (Yes, it's true) at that point and remind them of why they came along with their loved one. I also say: " I hope it all works out and have a great day!"

Just Trying To Keep Up......

I have my first Apple Iphone. My son told me it would be "too much" for me to handle and that it's technology was beyond my comprehension.  I don't take that statement as an insult since he might be right.  I grew up with a rotary phone on a "party line"full of nosey neighbors, in the 50's & 60's. What do I know about data plans, CDMA verses GSM, and what really is that "Cloud" thing? This makes me think back to my Great Aunt Emma who was a phone operator in her younger days. Whenever she picked up the phone to place a call, she would check the line for clearance by yelling "HELLA..HELLA?" This continued long after party lines were obsolete.  She knew what she was doing with these newer phones, by Gosh! No one ever doubted her authority or ability when it came to phones.  She was widely respected as a former Ma Bell employee. As children, we wondered why she yelled into the phone when it was obvious to us that there was no one there. The family didn't have the heart to explain to her that technology had moved on. We continued to let her use her Carroll County operator voice while placing her calls. Respecting your elders was more important than being right.

The way I see it

Pretty Glasses

I started wearing glasses in second grade. I thought it was cool at the time. I recall another classmate getting new glasses and suddenly I wanted some too.  I don't remember thinking... "Hey, I really can't see very well... so I should get my eyes checked out" I just told my Mom : " I think I need glasses!" She took me to an Optometrist and low and behold, I really did need glasses. They were beautiful! I still have them tucked away among other childhood memories. They were classic 1960's horn rimmed with blue and white stripes. I soon realized as time went on, that wearing glasses was not cool. I hated them. When contacts were invented, I begged my parents to improve my destiny and vanity for a pair.  I wore every type of contact that came along throughout the years. The ER visit with a corneal abrasion didn't even persuade me to go back to glasses.  When the Lasik procedure came to the visually vain people, like myself, I signed up too. I was saved.  Now I am much older and need reading glasses.  I have them everywhere.  At my age, I am still vain, but no longer care what others think about my glasses... so I buy the crazy ones that draw attention to the fact that, YES, I NEED GLASSES!

Birthday

Today is my birthday. I am 57 and proud of it. I have earned this martini and the cake that came with it.  This last year was a difficult one, having placed my Mother into a dementia unit. I found strength in my husband who listened to me, encouraged me, and made up a wonderful martini just for me called "Here's to Me".  I love that man!

When I am 90

I am getting forgetful. I wish I had a delete button to clear out a lot of things that I've absorbed over the years, such as other people's senseless chatter. That would be my first priority, of things to delete.  I wish it were that easy.  I met a woman today who was 90 and sharp as a tack. She opened a dialog with me about avoiding the spicy soup at my favorite restaurant. She sat alone, at the table next to mine.  At first, I was a little leery about her cognitive competence. A closer look revealed a petite classy lady, who had driven into the city in search of some specific clothing at a local dept. store. She decided to stop for lunch at this restaurant, on a whim, before heading home. She took a chance, alone, at a new place. What moxie!  As we both finished our meals, we continued to talk about her life.  She loved to talk! She lived through the Depression, raised children, worked for a Doctor's office,  and learned the value of not buying more than she could afford. We found that we both loved to ice skate on frozen creeks as children.  We discussed politics and Chihuly glass. This woman was amazing! I could have talked to her for hours. We parted our ways, never even knowing each others name.... When I grow up, I want to be just like her, interesting, adventurous and appreciative of Chihuly glass.

My Point of Reference

This is a view of my backyard tree line that forms a  " V ".  It faces North East. I have admired this view through each season for the past 2 decades.  It is my favorite place on this Earth.  In the Summer, when the leaves are full, the V becomes a canopy over my perennial garden.  This view is observed from my patio and reminds me of my children playing in our backyard over the years.  When I die, and by God's grace, I am taken to Heaven, this will be my room there.  This will be my view, with my children playing in the yard and my husband fixing something and I will be sitting on my patio chair taking it all in... gazing up at my big V.

Advice for the New Year 2011

Good bye to the old and on with the new.  Oh... and what ever you do, don't turn around and pick up that carcass of old baggage and carry it with you!